Change

I didn't have a great night last night. I was up until midnight with indigestion and then finally was able to sleep for about four hours. Then, around 4am, I started sleeping fitfully, having a dream that kept getting interrupted (but then it would start up again where it left off when I dozed back to sleep again).

The dream was quite vivid. In it, I was apparently giving a speech at a company meeting about "Change." There have really been some changes at work in some departments (in real life). They have brought in a "LEAN team" in order to standardize things and make things run more smoothly. This has generated quite a bit of hostility and push back from those who thought things were fine just as they were. However, I haven't been working in those particular departments for months -- so I'm not sure what brought on the "Change" dream.

In the dream, I was writing notes for my speech. I clearly remember that it went something like this:

Almost no one welcomes change. It's usually hard and sometimes terrifying. It's hard to understand why change has to happen -- as you may think things are running fine, just as they are. This is true both in a professional and personal setting. However, life IS change -- if we are stagnant, things never have a chance to improve. Can change fail? Well, yes -- but the alternative is unacceptable, as to keep the status quo, never taking a risk, never exploring options, might mean a safe life -- but not a successful life.

At that point, my dream dissolved into something a bit different. I was watching myself give a speech (but I knew in my dream that I was not really giving this particular speech and it was just my imagination) and I was talking about how I had worked this job for months, had done a good job, and had been assured a full time job, which never materialized -- and "that is bullshit." Clearly, I must have some issues with the fact that there is a hiring freeze! LOL! I imagine they are linked to the uncertainty of my husband's job just now (the sale to the major investor in the company went through, and they've been told there will be some news about the future of employees this week).

Anyway -- the point of this post is that I woke up really thinking about change (as I felt my "speech" was a good one that made sense). I wondered to myself if I needed to embrace change more. Certainly there are things in life I am not particularly happy with -- but I've been living with the status quo because change would be hard and stressful -- and I didn't want that in my life just now. Perhaps my subconscious is telling me it's time to really examine my life and make the changes that need to be made in order to improve my mental and physical well being. So, that is my goal for this week -- and I'm going to start a positive change by heading back to the gym (for the first time in months). Mike and I worked out a schedule so that each of us can go on alternate mornings (while the other gets our son off to school). With both of us committed and with a plan, it should work out for each of us.

I'll keep you updated on what changes I decide to make in my life.