Job Hunting

For the most part, I like my current temp job. When I'm working in Suite B with Dr. Drescher and her assistant, Stacey, the day flies as we are so busy. Both of them are so nice and they allow me to work on my own, trusting me to get the job done and do quality work. They are both friendly and let me know that they appreciate my work. When I'm at the main registration desk, the staff there is also jovial and friendly. It's always busy there, so the day also goes by pretty quickly.

However, there are some downsides to the job. Mainly, I have no control over the hours I work. Sometimes I have a full week and other times I only work a few days a week. It's hard to budget when the income is not steady. Also, it has still been stressful working with the other clerical workers in the OB/GYN office. They have bonded with the other temp worker and the favoritism they show her is very obvious. When they need someone to fill in, she is the one they call on -- so as a result, she ends up with many more hours than I do. I've attempted to discuss it with the gal that makes those decisions, but she either just doesn't get it, or purposefully decides not to. Needless to say, it makes working in that office difficult, as I kind of feel like the last kid picked for dodge ball. On one hand, working in that office is not enjoyable for me anymore, so I shouldn't care. But on the other hand, I need the hours/money -- so the blatant favoritism is upsetting. Plus, it's just no fun to be working in the office and be ignored during conversations and left out of the jokes that are being told. It's all so elementary school it drives me crazy, but at the same time, it probably hits that insecure part of me left over from when those types of things happened in school.

I decided that I would attempt to use the days I'm not working in a productive manner -- looking for a full time job. My goal is to apply for one job each day I'm home. I haven't yet met that goal, as life tends to throw things at me that I need to deal with right away -- but I have applied for one so far. It was an associate editor position at a national magazine that is based here in town. I emailed my resume and was happy to get a response, along with an editing test that was due the next day. I thought I did a good job and was happy with my work -- but I received an email about a week later thanking me, but saying they would not be inviting me for an interview. Ouch! Still, I'm grateful that they at least emailed to let me know -- so many places here never acknowledge applications or resumes that are sent. I'm still keeping my eye open for a full time position where I'm currently working (but probably not in the OB/GYN office) -- but I figured other options could not hurt (and it's good practice to keep applying).

Full time with benefits would be good. Our dental appointments are coming up next month and I may have to cancel, as we lost our dental insurance when Mike lost his job. Thank goodness the medical insurance is through the military.

Time Really Flies!

I can't believe I haven't posted for over a month! Things have been steadily crazy for the past several weeks. Mike still has not found work, but he has been working very hard every day on the bathroom remodel, as well as other tasks around the house. I so appreciate that he has been doing most of the cleaning and has dinner ready most days when I get home from work.

Work -- well, that has been interesting to say the least. I'm so grateful that my supervisor decided to give me 40 hours each week for the month of April. I don't spend all of my time in the OB/GYN office where I normally was working. Instead, she flexes me out to where the need is -- usually at the main registration desk for the pediatric and family practice clinic. While I usually keep busy while working anywhere, it is a different kind of busy at the registration desk -- just a constant flow of new patients ready to check in. There has been some drama in the OB/GYN office, with some people feeling resentful that I've been working primarily in the new suite with the new doctor. Apparently, they believe that I sit over there and just twiddle my thumbs or surf the internet and there was a lot of complaining and griping going on. One of the girls even emailed me to chastise me for how I spent my day, basing her opinion on incorrect assumptions and the griping of others. She went so far as to accuse me of not clocking out for lunch and of leaving early -- both of which were not true. After simmering for most of the afternoon, I calmed down and wrote a response, letting her know exactly how all of her assumptions were inaccurate and asking her why she just didn't ask me if she had a question as to how I spent my day. I also let her know I was copying the supervisors on the email, as I did not want them to get inaccurate information about me from her or anyone else.

I spoke to my supervisor about the situation the next day and was very relieved when she told me that they could not be more happy with my work and that I should not let any of my co-workers bring me down. Apparently there are some ongoing issues with the OB/GYN department that I was unaware of (most with this particular co-worker) and we later had a meeting about those issues. At first, my co-workers expressed their resentment at the fact that I alone worked in the other suite -- but when I agreed to their suggestion that we rotate (as I felt that way they would all see exactly what work needed to be done over there), they suddenly changed their minds and decided that the whole situation was caused because of stress, as they do not always have me or the other temp worker (when we are flexed out) and are always feeling behind. The supervisor agreed to a suggestion that one girl in the office help with the scheduling so that they would always have sufficient help -- and I insisted that the other temp needed to work in the other suite, as I would not always be there -- so now we alternate. We'll see if that helps the situation. However, it was sad -- because I really enjoyed my job and the people I worked with -- but to learn that people were talking behind my back, criticizing my work unjustly, and making untrue allegations about my ethics and work habits really hurt my feelings. I don't feel that I can really trust any of my co-workers anymore and I do not look forward to my days at the OB/GYN office anymore. At this point, I'm mulling over some other options, including applying for some other positions which would pay a bit less, but would move me to a more autonomous position away from the OB/GYN office.

The bathroom STILL is not finished -- but every day it looks better and better. My parents came to visit the third week in March and I took nearly a full week off work to help Mike to get a lot of tasks accomplished before they arrived. We were able to tile the floor and tub surround, install the vanity and toilet, and put up the mirror/lights, towel rods, etc. We can now actually use the bathroom! The shower is the last thing to do -- and we are tiling it now (it should be done by the end of the week if things go as planned). We had wanted a frameless glass shower enclosure, but we may not be able to afford that right away with Mike's current situation, so we'll just get a shower rod and curtain for the time being. It will be so nice to be able to shower in our bathroom (for the first time since we moved into the house!). I'll be sure to post before and after pictures.

Change

I didn't have a great night last night. I was up until midnight with indigestion and then finally was able to sleep for about four hours. Then, around 4am, I started sleeping fitfully, having a dream that kept getting interrupted (but then it would start up again where it left off when I dozed back to sleep again).

The dream was quite vivid. In it, I was apparently giving a speech at a company meeting about "Change." There have really been some changes at work in some departments (in real life). They have brought in a "LEAN team" in order to standardize things and make things run more smoothly. This has generated quite a bit of hostility and push back from those who thought things were fine just as they were. However, I haven't been working in those particular departments for months -- so I'm not sure what brought on the "Change" dream.

In the dream, I was writing notes for my speech. I clearly remember that it went something like this:

Almost no one welcomes change. It's usually hard and sometimes terrifying. It's hard to understand why change has to happen -- as you may think things are running fine, just as they are. This is true both in a professional and personal setting. However, life IS change -- if we are stagnant, things never have a chance to improve. Can change fail? Well, yes -- but the alternative is unacceptable, as to keep the status quo, never taking a risk, never exploring options, might mean a safe life -- but not a successful life.

At that point, my dream dissolved into something a bit different. I was watching myself give a speech (but I knew in my dream that I was not really giving this particular speech and it was just my imagination) and I was talking about how I had worked this job for months, had done a good job, and had been assured a full time job, which never materialized -- and "that is bullshit." Clearly, I must have some issues with the fact that there is a hiring freeze! LOL! I imagine they are linked to the uncertainty of my husband's job just now (the sale to the major investor in the company went through, and they've been told there will be some news about the future of employees this week).

Anyway -- the point of this post is that I woke up really thinking about change (as I felt my "speech" was a good one that made sense). I wondered to myself if I needed to embrace change more. Certainly there are things in life I am not particularly happy with -- but I've been living with the status quo because change would be hard and stressful -- and I didn't want that in my life just now. Perhaps my subconscious is telling me it's time to really examine my life and make the changes that need to be made in order to improve my mental and physical well being. So, that is my goal for this week -- and I'm going to start a positive change by heading back to the gym (for the first time in months). Mike and I worked out a schedule so that each of us can go on alternate mornings (while the other gets our son off to school). With both of us committed and with a plan, it should work out for each of us.

I'll keep you updated on what changes I decide to make in my life.